


Unusual Kiss

by Sombereyes



Category: Mai-HiME
Genre: Drama, F/F, Romance, Songfic
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2013-10-01
Updated: 2013-10-01
Packaged: 2017-12-28 04:16:36
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,432
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/987544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sombereyes/pseuds/Sombereyes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When a person's lips are like fine wine, and their soul is little more than a vast pool of tempting darkness, you've no choice but to get caught in her web...suspended in a love that isn't quite what could have been expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> A fiction that that was taken down a long while back due to Nao being in a shared relationship...if you don't like that idea, don't read this... I've since edited it, and done a lot of plotting changes, so it may not look the same as it did several months ago.

Sleepless...

She couldn't close her eyes, nor find rest within the luxurious bed that normally awaited her. She tried desperately to find sleep in other places, ones that didn't invite vivid imagery she'd rather leave in the dark catacomb that her heart would become. Should she amuse such a fond desire, it would consume her. She didn't want to dream of the implications, even as she licked her dry lips, sighing deeply as once again she buried the ache that seemed to pool in a place that tormented her mind, and fanned her body.

It was inexcusable to even think it, let alone desire it.

Tossing and turning on the sofa gifted absolutely no solace has her mind wandered to situations that she knew weren't possible, but then again, her doubts had painted in her mind in blacks and whites. As if no gray area could be found within her sighing breaths of exasperation. She tried to sip warm tea, and let the soothing heat calm her frazzle nerves, but alas, the caffeine set alight her worries, and she found herself pacing back and forth within her kitchen, stepping in such a pattern, she could predict the next tile she would come across if she were to continue in yet another circle.

Her attempts to calm her mental war ended in little more than a lacking twinge in the core of her belly. _“How long has it been?”_ She thought heatedly, sighing as she leaned into the counter, thinking for only a moment to gift herself something sweet as a reward for keeping a cool temper. Her prized orgasm that she so lusted after was little more than a fantasy, because she knew deep down, this was simply her mind playing a joke.

A horrible, cruel joke.

Met with failure moment after moment, the baffled crimson eyed woman found that she had to merely sit...or she would never find what her mind searched for. In her fatigue she tried to have blind trust, but, when that also proved to be an endeavor riddled in failure, she could do nothing but gaze at her bed, letting the weight settle over the room, as her fingers tapped at the table mercilessly, and her lip became bruised between her lips.

The room was dark...but she could still see, even with the curtains drawn. She didn't think it would get this far, but now that it had, well, she was unsure of just how to deal with the new development. As she sat there, in one of the large chairs she kept in the corner of her room, a glass of red wine breathing on the table, she found herself unable to come up with a proper explanation. She wished she could come up with something, anything. An excuse, a fib, perhaps even an alibi...something to give rise to the pit in her gut where her ache seemed to taunt her.

Something easy, to ebb away the gentle stirring of something she, herself had yet to understand.

She nibbled at her thumb, wishing she could snap her fingers, as if that would be the end all, the be all, for the questions at hand. Still, she knew she was not a woman with such a power, not a person who sought such an cowardly escape. This would be her undoing, she was sure of it. She knew that recently things had begun to shift in her life...for the better, but ultimately for the obscure. “ _Ah, but is that so different than the other trials I've had to face? My reasons for doing all that I've done? I knew I'd cast myself into the pit of hell, and I was fine with it...but...”_ She had been fine with it, but she also unwittingly landed on the other side, a jumbled mess of fears outspoken.

It was with great lengths, strides in both a forward motion, and an eye peering towards the past, that she and Natsuki had slowly let go of the painful whirlwind that had once cloaked them...it was with reluctance that they meandered the messy word...love...and it was with such conviction that they had become something far more than a mere couple. However, she knew that was only the beginning. She could not piece together the puzzle, she couldn't find an answer she liked...there were many, she'd found though every single one became unacceptable by the mere implication.

And, without fail, her mind wandered again back into the wrongdoings of last night...of the difficult web they'd woven, and the spider, she was not the only one who tied the knots in such a web.

In fact, Shizuru had to curse herself, because she knew she played the advocate of the devil...she was no saint, least her throbbing core shout otherwise. Still, Natsuki was not a puppy, though Shizuru teased the woman as if she were. Natsuki was a woman, a defiant one at that...strong, and often solitary, she wouldn't be easily swayed, unless she herself also felt strongly...Shizuru knew that had been the case, it always seemed to be. _“Natsuki is not entirely opposed, have I neglected my duties as her lover?”_ The very implication made Shizuru cringe and grip the seat tighter. _“I would think not.”_

Still, chancing everything she'd ever dreamed of, had been the best thing she'd ever done in her life. _“I was a horrific woman to both of you, and, if that is why...”_ She wished she could fix the past, but she found, that even if she could turn back the clock, her actions would still be the same. _“I wanted you then, and I want you now.”_ She was who she was, because she was a woman who was forthright, noble, perhaps, to a fault. Even when that nobility became tainted in dark passionate desires, and burned into her by the carnage of her fury, Shizuru was always noble. _“I just wanted to protect you...so that you would see me, but was I blinded by my joy? Was I crushing you? Am I smothering you now as well?”_

That part, she assumed, was a thing to ponder later on...after her troubles found some way to cease their war on her mind...she had other problems, and all of them consumed her, just as two women consumed her bed.

It was with great care that she'd gotten both of these girls into her dormitory without being caught, and Natsuki, being a university student herself, and also an occupant of the same dorm room. It wasn't out of the norm for her to be drunkenly splayed out under the covers after a night of drinking. In fact, Shizuru found herself preferring the times when it happened, knowing well Natsuki was far more subdued after a night of being plastered...she was a sleepy drunk, or at the very least a happy one. It was purely that fact alone, that even if she wouldn't sleep, the promise of cuddles and the out right demand of affection, was enough to win that debate...at least normally.

In fact, Shizuru knew quite well, at least once a week Midori would kidnap a few of the HiME for such a night...her return to Fuka the cause of countless nights of mayhem as of recently...mayhem that would usually end in blissful happiness. Natsuki was a far more open lover when she was inebriated. Soft, womanly, and unguarded in the throes of passion.

It was an added bonus, but truthfully, Shizuru didn't mind the wild parties out.

“ _Until last night.”_ She thought bitterly. The fact that there was another person in that bed made the reminder all the more apparent. The group that went out was also the worst combination of people to be had, and Shizuru knew this, but, she also knew she had a paper she had to complete, and she had to finish it as soon as possible. So, with great dismay, she let Midori lead Haruka, Natsuki, Nao, and a very flustered Yukino out for a night on the town. Shizuru knew Natsuki would not be happily buzzed and within reason...no, instead, Natsuki would be lucky if she didn't have to be dragged back home, likely over Midori's shoulder.

She had expected and prepared for Natsuki's completely blasted arrival...but what she had not expected was that Haruka would deposit Nao into her care as well.

That truth had carried her into this very confusing morning...Her wine was her only reprieve, and as she pondered the fact of her state of dress, and the other two women in the room, she realized for not the first time what a dangerous game she played...with, what could be considered, very deadly women in general...none of them were defenseless, and all of them had enough clout to back themselves up...Natsuki had brute force, Nao had her connections... _“A_ _nd I have my tact...”_ She thought, taking a sip of her wine, nipping at the tip of her own tongue, least she do something completely asinine.

“ _You've gotten older, Nao.”_ Three, very deadly women indeed. _“You're not quite so vicious, but, do you think you can truly handle Natsuki...or perhaps she isn't your goal...what is it Nao?”_

With a sigh, she found herself gazing deeply at the king sized bed that had two women sleeping in it...and one was her lover...her lover of nearly two years now, and a first year university student...the other was a delinquent, Nao Yuuki. She didn't quite feel guilty about it...about what they'd done...it was inevitable after all, that Nao would come out of the closet...she just didn't think the redhead would be so... “ _What was the word?”_ Shizuru didn't have a way to describe it, but she did expect that the redhead would eventually seek out romance with the fairer sex.

“ _I just never thought she'd want that with us.”_ Plural. Two people...two...both of them. Her confession had come out at a prior night of drinking, Shizuru had been privy to those events...it happened in their dorm that time, with a very frightened Nao clinging onto Natsuki with the realization that she was, in fact, gay. Nao had made the declaration, without really saying it...but Shizuru could see Nao's growing attachment to Natsuki, and while that bugged her, she also noticed that over time, Nao stopped being so rude.

Her tongue was still like acid, and that would likely never change, but Shizuru could tell, Nao pulled back her barbs with blunted and half hearted insults. “ _One could say she's bordering on friendly.”_ It was a first really, and Shizuru assumed that was her unspoken way of saying it...of showing her affections. _“Crass, but personable...though I doubt anyone would ever take a person such as her home, she isn't the type one could introduce to their parents.”_ That made Shizuru bite back another invective before it slipped from her lips. _“Could we be her experiment?”_

There were other oddities that came to mind. Nao's random need to hang around the university campus being one of the more glaring ones. It only seemed surprising because she actually followed former HiME around, and didn't harass the young males that would normally give her the eye. Another little interesting thing, was that Nao had begin to ask for help with homework, or other trivial matters, and she wasn't asking Natsuki. _“Is_ _she really trying to get on my good side? Trying to grab my attention, perhaps?”_ Shizuru didn't know, but it had been odd then, and it was incredibly mind boggling now.

“Fuck...” the voice was low, and slurred.

Shizuru heard the groan that followed, a likely pounding headache the cause of Nao's distress. She tried to sit up, but Natsuki was cuddled into her side, and Shizuru's voice made her stop. “Don't, or you'll wake up Natsuki.” Shizuru said quietly, standing up and going over to the bed. She had already prepared the set of pills and water, knowing well just how much the two of them drank. It would be enough to make them both very cranky as soon as they awoke. “Aspirin.” Shizuru said in explanation. “Lay down and I'll go get you a cool towel.”

Nao did as she was told, gulping down the pills, completely ignoring the cold glass of water. It was a trick she'd picked up from Midori, and now that she had, she doubted she'd ever take any pills the old way again. She lifted the blankets, only a small margin before licking her lips, her horrors confirmed. With guilt, she looked over at Natsuki, and then, back to where Shizuru had been sitting. The clothes strewn around the floor belonged to all three of them. She could explain herself, she was completely off to the moon, and Natsuki was near the same. “Shit...”

Nao could hazily guess that if given the chance, she and Natsuki just might do something...but Shizuru's clothes were there too, and Nao couldn't figure out an answer for that.

Shizuru's silken robe was left open, and her body was bare underneath. There were no secrets to be had, and that in and of itself was clearly unnerving the red headed woman. Shizuru, for part, seemed cool, calm and collected...there was already enough nudity the night before. Anything she questioned, she no longer needed answer for. “Natsuki sleeps like a rock after a night of drinking, but she needs a warm body and a lot of cuddling in order to do that. She nearly demands it.” Shizuru said she she gently put the cool, damp cloth on Nao's forehead, sitting down on the edge of the bed. “In fact, if you were to get up, she'd likely try to follow you...that's what she does with me, it's quite cute actually.”

“I'm surprised you haven't tried to kill me yet.” Nao grumbled, looking away in shame. 

“I don't see why I would, it isn't like the two of you actually did anything.” Lime green eyes fell on her in fear, and Shizuru sighed, shaking her head. “We didn't either...not what you're implying, anyway.”

“Then, what did we do?” Nao asked weakly, not completely believing her ears, her eyes telling her otherwise.

“Natsuki sleeps naked, or failing that, normally in a set of panties.” Shizuru said softly, running her fingers through dark midnight tresses. “So, I stripped her down, and got her snuggled down into bed, and you just happened to follow suit.” Red eyes searched those of lime green, and she felt confused for not the first time since Nao had crawled into bed with them. “The things you said last night...Nao, I know you get unwaveringly truthful when you decide to drink, but, I think we need to talk...while Natsuki's asleep.”

“You know, don't you?” Just like that, tears began to spill from Nao's eyes. “Isn't that enough?”

“ _So it was true...”_ It was Shizuru's fear confirmed, and she couldn't help but feel bad that she hadn't confronted this sooner. She felt rage, but it wasn't aimed at Nao, it was at herself. She had a gift for overlooking seemingly impossible things. She had overlooked the fact Natsuki could possibly feel love for her, and now, she'd done the same with Nao. She bit her lip, trying to think of something she could say, but nothing seemed good enough. “I'm in love with Natsuki, and she's in love with me.”

“And I'm naked in your bed.” Nao said softly. “This is just stupid, I don't belong here.”

“Stay put.” Shizuru said then, putting her hands on Nao's shoulder to keep her from leaving. “For one thing, it'll look very odd if a person who isn't a student walks out of the dorm room at this time in the morning.” Then, a sigh fell from her lips, and she caressed away a tear that was threatening to fall. “For another, we have to talk about this.” Her eyes fell upon Natsuki's form. “If we don't, it'll eat us all alive.” 

“You mean like the-”

“Don't.” Shizuru said in a harsh whisper. “Never bring that up...Natsuki and I have moved past it, but...I can see that she thinks about it sometimes. I do too...but, we don't talk about that anymore. So, just let it go.”

“You're different.” Nao said then, as she clutched the blankets around herself. “You're nothing like you used to be.”

“We both know the reason for that.” Shizuru said then. “She was able to change you too, you know.”

“You don't give us very much credit.” Nao said then. “We changed a lot on our own.”

“Nao, I don't want to play these games with you. I don't want to share Natsuki with you. I want her to be mine, and mine alone...that part of myself has never changed.” Still, as she said that, she sighed, seeing the lost feelings that stirred deeply. “Although, be that as it may, I know what it feels like, believing that the person you feel deeply for, will never love you at all. I understand that demon, and I don't wish it on anyone.” Shizuru knew though, her heart could never beat, not with the same fondness that it did for Natsuki. “As of right now, I do not love you...your feelings, I can't return them.”

“I didn't expect that you would.” Nao said sadly, the mask of forced indifference upon her face.

“Even if I could, is that what you want?” Shizuru asked darkly, remembering well everything that had transpired between them. The good, the bad, and the down right horrific. “Would you want to be just second best? If I were you, I couldn't be that person...I could never stand for that.” Everything was like a twisted nether, dark and conflicting with everything they'd done. “However, I couldn't also stand to be on the sidelines, I could never be that person with an undefinable feeling, and lines I couldn't cross.”

“We'd end up fighting again.” Nao began mentally cursing herself. “So we're damned if we do, and fucked if we don't.” She hadn't thought about things like that. “So, what do you want me to do then?”

“What I want matters very little, because it will happen one day.” Shizuru said then. “One day I will meet my demise when it comes to Natsuki, we're the type of people the get ourselves into these types of messes...we do it because it's the only thing we can do. I'm reliant on Natsuki, but so are you...” She couldn't imagine a world without Natsuki, without the woman at her side. Then again, she doubted she could imagine a place without any of the HiME, since they all played such a deep role within the lives of one another. She didn't want to fight or another battle. “Natsuki will be everything to both of us, right down to our mutual demons.... though you and I can say the same for her...you are a demon of mine as well....I am also yours....it is a twisted game, Nao.”

Shizuru had put away that side of her a long time ago...and in reflection, that angry side was an ugly mistress she dare never to call forth again.

Natsuki would never dare to leave Shizuru, the woman of fawn knew it. With unwavering dedication, Natsuki would always strive to be around, in some manner of speaking, Natsuki would always manage to lavish affection upon her. Natsuki was kind, and even when she was cranky, she was always walking on the broken glass of fear, not daring to hurt Shizuru again, knowing one scar was enough. “I don't know what to think about that.” Shizuru felt as if her world was still upside down. “What to think about your feelings, either.” She shook her head with a sigh. “I think I may understand just what Natsuki endured, when she found out about my love for her.”

“I don't need this.” Nao said then, prying herself away from Natsuki's grasp. “I don't want false hope.”

“Nao...” The name fell from her lips as the redhead chose to stand. “Nao, listen...I need Natsuki, I need her more than you realize.” They were both very acutely aware of the fact that one dainty hand had grabbed a hold of one clenched, angry one. They could feel the tension in the room rising in an alarming rate, it would pull them in, but then again, wasn't that always the case? “And she needs you.” The admission was hardly spoken, her words tight and forced. “I do too...just, in a different way.” The truth hurt.

“But it isn't the same.” Nao's own admission sent a wave of pain that Shizuru couldn't even fathom. “It wouldn't ever be the same.”

The realization that Natsuki had a place in her heart for everyone around her, a place they belonged, their own little spot...that was fine...but Nao's place was growing bigger, and Shizuru had to admit, she felt the same way....Nao was no longer her enemy. Love was a very fickle thing, tried and tested to the limits, it would surely waver, and possibly break. “Nao, this would be insanity...it would be beyond wrong, and...even more than that...” Still, to hear Nao say such things, pained words that Shizuru herself could remember uttering not all that long ago, made her realize how unfair it would be either way, how painful it would be to fight the undertow.

“It would be our lives...everything we tried to get away from.” Nao said then, pulling away from Shizuru, grasping onto the cloth of her shirt, pulling it out from underneath a pair of jeans that weren't hers. “I'm glad we didn't sleep together...I wouldn't want my first time to be with someone who never really loved me.”

Shizuru suppressed a curse that would have made Natsuki proud. This entire thing was totally and completely unfair, but that was their lives...and everyone suffered in some part. Everyone found a sacrifice someplace. Nao was many things, but she wasn't a threat to anyone...that was a truth that had become apparent well after the fighting had ebbed. “I think, it would be best, if I actually told you what happened, at least, what events I bore witness to.” She licked her lips, and smiled sadly. “You do need to hear it, before you go running off.”

“Why?” Nao asked then. “It's not like it matters.”

“It does matter...even if you wish that it didn't.” Shizuru said then. “The answers you find, they might actually be things that you'd want...but if you run away from them, how will you ever know?”

“I don't want to know...I don't think I can handle it.” Nao sighed. “So for now, just let me go home.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: The song used here for this chapter is a song named “An Unusual Kiss” and it is sung by Melissa Etheridge. I hope you all enjoy this second chapter. I decided I would expand upon the second chapter I wrote for the Christmas fan fiction, and go into more detail...so that said, I'm revamping the idea of this simply being a two shot...it won't be horridly long, but the fact that this has so much potential, I don't want to end it in just two chapters. The song will carry through as the chapters continue, but as I promised, I've posted what I feel is ready...but there will be more on the way, as I fiddle with the rest of what I have and toy with the idea.
> 
> Also...this is an actual relationship between all three characters...there is no “dominant” pairing, and everything surely won't be one sided on any front. Even though Natsuki and Shizuru have a history...please don't think that either one of them will begin to put Nao first, or that they will forget one another, as I don't think that would ever be possible for them (especially Shizuru) to ever do.

 

**Part 2**

 

“You can't blame her for leaving.” Natsuki said that evening, expertly calming her lover who had been in a tizzy all afternoon. “You can't beat yourself over it either. Nao's always been an outcast in so many ways.” Her fingers untied the knots that Shizuru had bound tightly by being so uneasy all day. “I knew something like this would happen sooner or later, it was nearly expected.”

 

 

“Not love, Natsuki.” Shizuru's crimson eyes boring deeply into those of emerald knew more than Natsuki wanted to admit. “I was waiting for her to grow some fort of dependency on us, yes...but I never thought that she would actually fall in love...well, with you perhaps, but not with me.” Not with both of them. “You should have seen her, she was so guilty.”

 

 

“Then, why did you let her run?” Natsuki asked softly, accusation the furthest thing in her eyes.

 

 

Nao had left that morning before Natsuki had woken up. All day long, Shizuru had been a wreck about things, and finally, at lunch, she finally poured out the events of the morning, feeling the weight settle over her shoulders, as if it was her burden alone to bear. Natsuki pondered endlessly, but she herself couldn't find an answer for either side of the argument, and being the type of person she was, with the things she had learned about the battle...Natsuki understood that people couldn't live alone, couldn't do things completely on their own...but Nao had been that sort of person...

 

 

Always the one to carry her own troubles, without anyone else around to help her.

 

 

Natsuki knew that path well...and understood the venom that pumped through the soul of a person who couldn't trust anyone. Natsuki was also thankful, that she had moved past that in time, with the help of Shizuru, and later Mai, Mikoto and the other HiME...but she also knew, Nao was a different matter, and Nao would rely more deeply on others because of the tragedies in her life. The world may have shown Natsuki unkindness, but she always had a way out, or perpetual connections...those were things Nao never had, and the person most important to her, was a parson who's life would continue to hang in a delicate balance between life and death.

 

 

Natsuki sighed at that...you could move on easily when someone was gone...but you couldn't do so, when hope still lingered in the back of your mind. Nao, even in the midst of battle had been filled with hope, otherwise, there would have been no way she could have contacted her power, Julia. That fact that she could, the fact she had the power in the first place, meant she had a person to protect, and firmly believed in that person...but, the question was, how could you believe in your mother, when your mother's life rested in others, like fate, or doctors alone?

 

 

Nao couldn't do anything...so, how was she to continue to have faith as time trickled on?

 

 

She wasn't a little girl anymore, the battle had ruined her and rebuilt her...still, she didn't trust as openly as others, and unlike Natsuki, who continued to mellow out as time went forward, Nao still harbored regrets. If one were to look at most of the HiME, you'd never know of the truths they had faced, or what sins they'd committed. In Nao those sins were like a boiling fire of guilt, of rage, and of worthlessness...they were only beginning to heal over, but the wounds were still fresh for her...they would need more time, and plenty of love, something she'd never had.

 

 

“I couldn't force her to stay.” Shizuru said then, leaning into Natsuki's touch as cool fingers slipped under the hem of her shirt. “However, pretending that I could, would you have wanted that?”

 

 

“I wouldn't push her away.” Natsuki shrugged, unsure about if she truly wanted something like that or not. Either way, Natsuki knew quite well she hadn't prevented this from happening, and much like Shizuru, hadn't thought that it would even occur. “I know that if I reject her, that it would tear Nao apart...and if that happened...you'd feel horrible about it...and so would I.” Natsuki knew underneath everything, Shizuru blamed herself the most. “I don't know if I could ever love Nao...not like I love you...but, I know I could love Nao in her own way...I can be a different type of person for her, that I can't be to you. She can handle the side of me that's still angry about some things that I'm not ready to let go of yet...and she gets it.”

 

 

“Natsuki...you know I'll always be here for you.” Shizuru murmured, lulled by Natsuki's wandering hand as they worked magic on her.

 

 

“I know you accept it, but, that's no replacement for someone who really understands some of the struggles...but, it's because I get some of it...maybe.” Natsuki trailed off as she leaned in to kiss the nape of Shizuru's neck, as she pulled her hands out from underneath Shizuru's shirt, instead unclasping the snaps that kept the white shirt closed. “I think that's why she let herself begin to trust me.” Trust was merely a stepping stone, but the fact that Natsuki had planted the seed, and had encouraged it, that she knew the sprout was one that was going to grow. It was their choice weather the seed became a flower, or a weed. Still, they knew Nao was fragile, and either way, treading with caution was their only way around this. “The question goes back to you too, Shizuru. Could you love her, in any possible way?”

 

 

“I don't honestly know.” Shizuru felt as if she couldn't stand to see Natsuki with another woman, but deep down, she also knew she couldn't stand to see her past repeated in another human being. Knowing the pain of such rejection, something deeper than a knife. “I don't think I could cope watching her deal with rejection.” For Nao, it would be just as bad as the carnival was before, if not worse...and this time, there wasn't any magic to save them, and mortality was a weakness before...it would be the undoing of all of them now, when calling upon a name did little more than echo in the wind... “If I don't give her the chance, I know I'd remake the monster I was...but this time, it would be her...I don't think I could stop that, and she wouldn't be strong enough.” Nao would be beyond broken. “I can't cause that kind of pain again, even thinking about it...” It made her feel sick.

 

 

There was no Kiyohime, Duran, or Julia anymore...and the pain would reflect upon all of them, with nothing to hide behind...blood, sweat, and tears would be all consuming, and horrifyingly real.

 

 

“Nao loves you.” Natsuki whispered softly against the shell of Shizuru's ear. “And she loves me...but listen to me.” Natsuki's breath was inviting and warm as her hands pulled away the now open white cotton. “I love you. You were the first person in my life to ever really care about me, you were there for all of the milestones that ever meant a damn to me. All the firsts in my life that I struggled through, you were there for, and that can't ever be replaced...so whatever happens between the three of us, just know that. You are my most important person...and Nao knows she can't come between that...but you and I, we need to decide if she can become apart of it.”

 

 

The affirmation of that single truth started with the barest kiss that lingered on the back of Shizuru's neck as Natsuki pulled her into a hug. It lead to the gentlest caress of fingers, as buttons and snaps parted like the seas, and they fell into something that was comfortable for both of them, something familiar and solid, unwavering...their love was no longer uncertainty, it was honest, open and filled with with the truths that had made them into the strong women they were today. They had been clay at one point, without a mold and unrefined...but now, they were the epitome of lovers...their needs satiated only by the warmth of their embrace. 

 

 

They had been molded and shaped by the events of their lives, and now, Natsuki was as unwavering in her devotion as Shizuru herself was. It hadn't always been that way, but, time was the cure for everything they'd both feared in their young lives...and the carnival opened the catalyst to heal their wounds...so, once they grasped onto the chance, clutched onto faith needed, the journey became an easy one. Their trials had led them through dark desires that would never be spoken of, into the realm of skittish lovers. They had explored the vastness of being lost in emotions and feelings that they would have never dared to utter during the light of day. 

 

 

They had overcome the trembling fears that raw need coaxed the first few times they'd ever made love, and after the trial and error of new love came and went, a sturdy foundation of passion and logic, of euphoria and trust, dreams and reality...everything built and mingled...now, they were seasoned veterans in such an art.

 

 

“Natsuki...” It was a soft moan that slipped from Shizuru's lips when tantalizing fingers danced across her flesh, rolling pebbled peaks between deft fingers. “Na-” She had to draw a breath when luscious lips and soft teeth toyed with her earlobe, breathing hotly into it, electing another small gasp.

 

 

“Yes?” The husky murmur made Shizuru curl her toes as Natsuki worked wonders on her. “What's up babe?” She asked, nipping at sensitive flesh.

 

 

“Natsuki...” She had to clutch onto the back of the sofa, her nails digging into it as Natsuki encouraged Shizuru to turn and face her, her fingers trailing heat in places that were damn near sinful. “Behave.” She muttered, Natsuki's tongue igniting a path of liquid heat over her supple flesh before nipping gently again, this time taking a pert nipple between her teeth. “Don't tease.” Shizuru breathed, enjoying the feeling.

 

“I won't.” It was a promise Natsuki didn't keep as she sucked, nipped, and licked her way around in a memorizing dace, her fingers at place, stroking heat down below, testing the soft womanly folds with just the tip of her finger, smirking at the moisture that collected there. Even when a sheen of sweat coated Shizuru's nude form, and the tawny haired woman found herself straddling Natsuki, the younger woman wouldn't let up...not even When Shizuru began bucking into Natsuki's palm, begging to be entered.

 

 

“Natsuki please, for god's sake.” Shizuru needed to take the edge off, and she needed it now, Natsuki could tell. “You can play later.” Shizuru very nearly begged then, she just needed to feel Natsuki's love affirming touch.

 

 

“Alright, 'Zuru.” Natsuki murmured, her voice soft and tender. She slid two fingers into soaking womanly depths, her deft fingers drawing wave after wave of pleasure from the dripping, heated core...Shizuru knew this admission was both an honest desire, and promise that they both dearly needed. 

 

 

If they accepted Nao, their love would become new again, uncharted, and very frightening for both of them...all of them, and Nao wasn't only a virgin in the actual sense, but also, emotionally...the idea of love a completely new concept for her. It was exciting, thinking of the possibilities, but it was also something that made Shizuru tremble with each shuttering breath as Natsuki's warm tongue left a cooling trail of liquid heat in its wake.

 

 

Their kisses wire filled with fervor, hungry with the ideal, the dire need of perhaps never having the luxury to ever be greedy again. There was an all consuming power within that, the idea that they may have to share, and be considerate of another, made Natsuki growl as blunted nails ran down her back. Shizuru in a sense, had always been hers, and hers alone, even when she hadn't known about it. Even when her mind consumed other things, and complicated areas in her life, she never had to share Shizuru, because the woman had been blindly devoted to her. 

 

 

The idea of sharing this...

 

 

Her quiet moans as they slipped past her lips, her kiss that was like a high...her warm thick accent that lowered into the smooth, sultry whispers as she came down from her high. Her scent that was intoxicating, her eyes that were intimidating, her tears were frustrating, and even her smile was captivating. Natsuki didn't want to share this, as Shizuru all but collapsed on top of her, a disheveled mess as they kissed heatedly, nearly lighting the fire once more, bucking painfully into Natsuki's palm as she felt a third finger enter her squelching core, until breathlessly, she could take no more...

 

 

Even then, as Natsuki licked her fingers clean, she knew the truth...Shizuru was hers...these were things Shizuru didn't share...or if she did gift something, it was either in jest, or a mask...but the mask slipped off at night, and just like a silken robe that covered her body, all Natsuki would have to do is request Shizuru's undying love, and the offending armor would fall away, as if it never belonged there in the first place.

 

 

As soon as Shizuru wavered, Natsuki became the rock...and the reverse was true...they were the solid protection, and constant admiration...but how could that go three ways, three very different ways? It was confusing to think about, and yet, the greed that consumed the both of they would fizzle out after the passion cooled and ebbed. Once they let go of the raw needs and settled into the warmth of a simple embrace, it wasn't so frightening, the idea seemed to be one filled with wealth...Nao's presence, while new, would be welcomed...in time, it may even be sought after, beckoned...something they needed, a forbidden fruit that simply had to be tasted...and perhaps, would become the lifeblood of their existence.

 

 

However, all of that would remain unknown, and thus, their mutual anxiety would continue until the truth came out into the open. In the coming weeks were like an ocean of uncertainty, and they all got pulled into the current...the tidal waves were something that crashed into them, and yet, it all started with a knock on the door late into the night about a week later.

 

 

 

…

 

 _It's 1:25 a.m. I think I've seen that look somewhere before_  
1:25 a.m. I thought that you were headed for the door  
Then something touched my skin  
I won't ask you to leave here any more

 

…

 

 

 

“What the hell happened to her?” Natsuki muttered squinting from the lights in the hall. Her eyes fell upon the clock, it was well past midnight. 

 

 

“Don't look at me.” Mai sighed, holding up a bloody and bruised Nao, inviting herself in, plopping the girl down on the nearby chair in the corner by the only bookshelf in the room. “She was getting into another fight.” Mai shrugged and Natsuki scowled. They knew there were still some guys that tried to get into fights with Nao because of what she did in the past, but the young woman was hardly even coherent. “Tate butted in, but we don't have any space for her to stay in my room, and Tate's side of the building doesn't allow women.”

 

 

Natsuki cursed under her breath. “Chie and Aoi will be okay with keeping Nao in your room, right?”

 

 

“They wouldn't care...but remember, there's that other girl in with us. We don't have a spare bed, plus, your room is more private.” Mai explained as Shizuru, who had peered out into the room early had come back with a first aid kit. “I can't really explain that our friend got the crap kicked out of her, they'd try to report it.”

 

 

“That is the advantage of having enough money to afford the double room.” Shizuru nodded. She and Natsuki stayed on the upper floors where there were normally only two people to a room, giving them plenty of privacy. Mai wasn't so lucky, and stayed on the lower floors, that were far more friendly on the wallet. It also was quite nice that they had very few neighbors, and those they did have, kept to themselves. “This is one angry gash.” Shizuru said then, blotting away at the cut with some gauze. “Are you sure it was only one person?”

 

 

“No way in hell.” Natsuki muttered at Shizuru. “Nao can really fight. I've seen her hold her own before, it wasn't just one person.” Natsuki went into the kitchen then, pulling out some towels to put behind Nao's head to protect the leather chair. “There's just no way.” The late hour told tales that daylight would never speak of, but even in the dulled lamp light, it was enough of an answer.

 

 

“Nao's been really careless recently.” Mai said softly, the admission something she'd heard from Mikoto. “She's going back to the way she used to be...I thought she was getting better but, well, the fact she's skipping class again has Mikoto really worried.”

 

 

“Nao's, on the rebound.” Natsuki simply shrugged, as she lazily leaned back landing on the sofa, putting her feet up on the coffee table. “Can't say that it surprises me any...I just thought she would be more vocal about it, not get her face kicked in.”

 

 

“Natsuki!” Mai's voice mirrored the look Shizuru was glaring at her and Natsuki just shook her head.

 

 

“Don't take it the wrong way.” Her words were soft then, and she crossed her arms, her eyes drifting over Nao's prone form. “Nao will bounce back eventually.” Her wounds were more colorful than they were dangerous. “The way I see it, tonight's the least of her problems. We've got this covered on our end, so just go back to your room and crash, we have that huge test in chemistry tomorrow, and I don't want to fail because my lab partner can't keep up.” With the agreement that they'd keep Nao with them overnight, and keep her safe from any more harm, Mai left to go back to her own room fairly easily.

 

 

Every so often, a hiss of pain would slip from Nao's lips, but she didn't really want to speak, instead she simply stared at the wall. “I don't think you have a concussion.” Shizuru could see unfocused lime green eyes peering off at some unknown force, she she sighed when she realized Nao wasn't going to do anything else but avert her eyes. With a gentle hand, Shizuru guided Nao's face so that she could get a better look. “I need you to try and focus, you're no stranger to a headache.”

 

 

No, perhaps she wasn't, but she closed her eyes anyway, biting her lower lip as if she was trying to contain the worst feeling ever to be had. Nao's flinching away only gave the other two in the room more reason for concern, and they watched what they knew was bitterness fall from Nao's closed eyes. “I'm fine.” Her voice was the final straw, and the last thing that betrayed her. “I'll get out of here at first light, I promise.”

 

 

“No, you won't.” Shizuru said then with firm disapproval, the final bit of gauze in place. “You'll stay here until morning, have breakfast, and then, you'll go to school. If I hear you skipped classes, I'll come find you, and tape you to your desk.” With a sigh, she pulled her hair away from her face, and licked her dry lips. “Get her into bed, I don't want her sneaking out, acting as if she's some rebellious brat.”

 

 

Natsuki could only gape as Shizuru sauntered out of the room with an anger that seemed to turn inside of the pit of her belly, and it was then, that the catalyst had started. Pulling forth all that Natsuki needed to know, and with a smirk, she whispered into Nao's ear. “Dude, she's pissed.”

 

 

“No shit.” Nao answered sickened as the room around her went off kilter. Natsuki lifted her off of the chair, but that only made matters worse.

 

 

“One day, you're going to regret that.” Natsuki was strong... “Come on, let looser, lets get you to bed.” Stronger than Nao realized, and before she knew it, she was being hoisted up and being carried into the bedroom.

 

 

The was the start of a very muddled relationship, that wasn't exactly filled with love, but was also not exactly filled with denial. The force was undeniable, and it was nearly consuming. Kindness, pity, and all things negative waned out into something neutral, a truce, perhaps, among Nao and Shizuru...a white flag of both surrender, and perhaps something more...what that something was, Natsuki could quite figure out...but one sleep over here and there had grown into something of a routine, and study sessions began to end as something far more questionable.

 

 

 

…

 

 _Was it the talk or the drink or the dance that led to this_  
Was I so naive presuming the innocence  
Well it's 1:54 and it's such an unusual kiss

 

…

 

 

 

“Stupid math.” Nao growled tossing the thick tome off to the side. “Lets give up on this shit, play some games, watch some movies.”

 

 

“No can do.” Natsuki's voice answered absentmindedly, her eyes focused on her laptop. “I have to finish my report or else I'll get nailed.” Then she looked up, grabbing some of the study sheets Mai was letting her borrow. “Not to mention we've already blown off our work twice this week. If Shizuru find out you have three missing assignments, or that I let you get away with it, she's going to kill me.” When she reached for the bag of candy that had been strewn across the table, she frowned, Nao had built a tower with the little candies out of pure boredom. “Really Nao...really?”

 

 

“I did that two hours ago.” Nao shrugged as her eyes scanned her homework. “I just can focus, and besides that, we both know the only reason I'm still in school is because it's pointless to drop out now that I've gotten this far, but I don't really care about my GPA.”

 

 

“Yeah, I didn't either.” Natsuki closed her laptop with a small click. “Not at first anyway. Then I realized that if I really want to be someone in my life, the things I knew how to do were really only means to an end, and that part of my life has already passed me by. There really isn't a place for me in this world to keep fighting senseless battles, so if I wanted a new place to belong, I had to learn something new along the line.”

 

 

Nao nodded, but just rested her arms and her head on the table, using the pages of her book as a pillow. “Its easy for you to say that. You don't have to want for anything, because you have everything.” With a deep sigh, she closed her eyes, melting into the gentle feeling of a hand running through her unruly mop of hair that she kept short. Lime met emerald, and Nao found herself wondering just what was being pondered behind the scowl. “Who pissed you off this time?”

 

 

“No one.” Natsuki said, her voice soft. “I was just thinking.” Of what, she wasn't entirely sure. “When I first met Shizuru, I thought the things she said were all lies, and she was just putting on a happy face for me, like it was out of obligation or something. She wasn't lying though, and Shizuru always seemed so calm when I couldn't be. I thought that she had everything.” Back then, it was the furthest from the truth. Shizuru had wealth, she had fame, things most girls would dream of, they were at Shizuru's fingertips, but her desires were something far more simple, and at first, even innocent. “I never realized how empty she was...I trusted her...but she was a very lonely person, and I was too...but she never seemed that way, so I never actually realized how alone she really was.”

 

 

“Don't tell me you still feel bad about that.” Nao grumbled, nearly incredulous. “It was her fault, she didn't open her damn mouth...but it wasn't like people didn't know. It was all over the school, people only talked about it when the two of you weren't looking.”

 

 

“I don't feel bad.” Natsuki couldn't regret it, there was nothing she could do about the times they shared back then. “I was just thinking about that, because you remind me a lot of myself...I've told you that.”

 

 

“So, what does that make me? A sister or something?” Nao cursed sharply when Natsuki pulled roughly on her hair.

 

 

“Don't be an idiot.” And just like that, Natsuki went back to the soft, mesmerizing touch from before. “I just...” Natsuki shook her head. “Forget about it...it doesn't really matter.”

 

 

“What doesn't matter?” Shizuru asked then, coming from the bedroom, her work already completed.

 

 

“Your pup is getting all weird on me.” Nao said then sitting up. “She's even petting my head, as if I'd find any comfort in that...stupid dog.” Still, even as her words cut through the air like a blunt knife, the tiniest hint of a smirk graced her lips. A dark chuckle was the second sign that she was actually enjoying it, and Natsuki scooted closer rubbing her head some more.

 

 

“Think if I do it enough, I may actually get her to purr?” Natsuki asked Shizuru with a wink in her eye, causing Nao to frown and push the now annoying hand away.

 

 

“I doubt it.” Shizuru said then, coming to sit down at the table. “Did you finish your math yet, or did you manage to derail yourself again?”

 

 

“What do you think?” Natsuki asked then, knowing Shizuru knew the answer. “I'm still a few pages short, so keep her company will ya...this is due first thing, and I can't slack off anymore.”

 

 

Shizuru watched Natsuki pack up her things, she was likely going to retreat to the bedroom to get things done. “That's what happens when you procrastinate.” Her sigh fell of deaf ears, and when Natsuki had taken leave with her work in hand, it left Nao even more bored as she plopped back down onto her math book. “You'll never get it done that way.”

 

 

“I'll never get anything done this way.” Nao answered back realistically. “I can't think about this crap anyway, so there's really no point.” The tips of her fingers reached a pencil Natsuki had been using and with a sigh, she shook her head. “It's still warm.” She buried herself into the book. “The two of you linger in places, and you never even know that you do.”

 

 

“Nao...” Shizuru sighed then, the girl was so hard to read. One moment, she was deep, filled with thoughts and emotions that one would expect of a young woman. Then, in an instant, she would turn vicious, and then venom of the past though dulled, would seep into her eyes, the remorse and pain something Shizuru had no idea how to deal with. Nao was a very different creature, and her trust was something even more fragile than Natsuki's had ever been. There were times when saying nothing was the best option, but selecting just when that was, had been a chore in and of itself.

 

 

“Natsuki hurts.” Nao said then, filling in the blank. “She doesn't even realize it, but she hurts me when she does that...”

 

 

“Natsuki is very kind, but the kindness she offers lacks discretion.” Shizuru could agree with Nao fully. Natsuki would easily cause pain for those that loved her, if such a love remained quiet, and from afar. “With Natsuki, you must seek out a proper reaction, because she herself will not do so, unless she feels as if the desire is for the best. If pain filled your heart because of the love you have for her, then, you must tell her what it is that you think will ease that pain.”

 

 

“As if that would help.” Nao muttered under her breath. “She looks right past me.”

 

 

“Natsuki has grown into an unwavering, passionate woman...” Shizuru said as her voice dropped to a low monotone. “She would accept you, and your advances...if she felt the outcome would be favorable.” Natsuki's actions screamed of that, even if they were subtle, her jests at Nao were simply playful, but her touch was far more than any mere friend received. Shizuru herself still remained unsure of just what that meant, but the fact she was encouraging this behavior, reminded her of the grim facts. “We talked about this you know.” Shizuru said then, driving the point home.

 

 

“I don't want to get in the way.” Nao sat up then, but her voice was losing the strength she wished she had. “I just can't give up either though.”

 

 

“Doing what I did will get you into a mess of trouble, and an entire world of hurt you can't possibly imagine.” Shizuru said then, leaning forward, letting her fingers guide Nao's chin, forcing her gaze away from the floor. “You can't stay idle forever, you don't have it in you...the strength that requires is entirely out of your reach...never mind that it could be considered incredibly self destructive.” She'd never let herself feel anything remotely near love in her younger years, and when the idea finally sprang into her mind, she pushed it away like the plague...how horrible it had been back then...and Shizuru knew that time would never change that type of feeling. “I'm not saying this will be easy on any of us, in fact, I will be willing to bet this trial will be the hardest we've ever faced.”

 

 

“Then why would you?” That, indeed, was the question that seemed to echo within all of them.

 

 

Why...

 

Go through with it?  
Allow uncharted waters?

 

Provoke all that could go wrong?  
Dare to do what many call impossible?  


Share in something so personal, and important?  
Dulve into passions that were best left unsatified?  


 

 

It was likely because they themselves were impossible people, who had, in the past, done impossible things. A magic both dark, and inexplicable, had spun a web that normal people, with normal, average, every day lives, would never comprehend. They would never understand the true value of life, and of the people they cared for. There were very few breathing humans who would have faced what they faced...fought for what they fought for...their personal war was unlike the hell of blood and carnage...it wasn't about a name, or a territory...greed had no part in their struggle...it was all about love, and the people they swore to protect, with blind devotion, and a nose dive into the absolute worst demise possible, if that's what the situation called for. 

 

 

There were very few who understood that.

 

 

It was with that truth perhaps, that Shizuru had decided to break the wall that had been meticulously built for safety between them. If she shattered the wall, and gave her wordless consent, then she knew, without a shadow of a doubt Nao would understand the situation entirely. Still, the idea was a completely inferior concept. The slander they would receive if this ever got out, would likely be worse than Natsuki or Nao would ever willingly admit. Still, as she felt Nao's soft cheek flair up with the tiniest hint of a blush, Shizuru also realized, the terror in her own heart was mirrored in the eyes of lime green pools.

 

 

Nao was not a lone wolf to be tamed...she was once a filthy little arachnid to be squished...a pest, a spiteful creature with a hate for everything around her...and widows were known for their bite, a venomous, sickening creature that wasn't always considered beautiful, but always known as deadly. Deadly was not the look, danger was the furthest thing in Shizuru's mind. Instead, she saw something else, a cowering look, as if Nao has wished nothing more than to hide within the shadows. 

 

 

Without further reasons, and lacking any good ideas, not even an excuse to shun Nao away...Shizuru had come up empty handed...and, in the reality, she found that she found herself wanting the young woman in front of her, one who dared not move as Shizuru leaned into to kiss those dry, rough lips that hadn't nearly the confidence to part themselves for entrance. Instead, Nao shuttered, and Shizuru found herself smirking at that when she pulled away from the light peck. “You will find your place among what Natsuki and I have built.” Shizuru said softly, letting her fingers trace over the smooth skin of Nao's throat in the barest of touches before removing her hand completely. “However, it is you, who must decide just where that place will be.”

 


End file.
